Supporting anyone affected by the tragic death of a baby

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Remembrance Poems

Many people will reach out to you with words of comfort in the coming days, months and years. They will send cards, leave messages and speak words of condolence. Some will find it hard to find the right words, because what has happened is unimaginable to those who have not lived through it. This selection of poems is there to put into words what you may be feeling right now, and in time to come.
There may be just a single line that resonates with you, or you may recognise your emotions in many of the poems. You may take comfort now in their words, or you may need to put it to one side until you are feeling a little stronger. If you find that you are unable to talk to friends and family about how you’re feeling, sharing this booklet with them may help them understand. However you use the poems, we hope they bring a little comfort to you.
Everyone at Sands has been touched in some way by the loss of a child. We cannot take your pain away, but we can walk alongside you until you are strong enough to walk alone, so keep our number to hand, and please call when you need us.

Little Snowdrop (Author unknown)

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn’t bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.
The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.

If Tears Could Build A Stairway(Author unknown)

If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane,
We would walk right up to Heaven
And bring you back again.

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye,
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why.

Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow,
What it meant to lose you
No-one will ever know.

But know we know you want us
To mourn for you no more,
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store.

Since you’ll never be forgotten
We pledge to you today,
A special place within our hearts
Is where you’ll always stay.

The Cord (Author unknown)

We are connected,
My child and I, by
An invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It’s not like the cord
That connects us ’til birth
This cord can’t been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does its work
Right from the start.
It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it’s there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.
It can’t be destroyed
It can’t be denied.

It’s stronger than any cord
Man could create,
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you’re not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised…I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can’t take it away!

A Father’s Grief (Author unknown)

It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since “men don’t cry”
and “men are strong”
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she’s alright
And what she’s going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
“My friend, but how are you?”

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But “stays strong” for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave –
He lost his baby too.

As the sun came up this morning (Anon)

As the sun came up this morning,
I watched you there below.
Your hearts seemed oh so heavy,
But there’s something you should know.
I’m not gone don’t worry,
I’m just a step ahead
And I’m with you every single day
As you rise up from your bed.
I am the sun that warms you,
I am the moon’s soft glow.
I am the stars that twinkle,
And light your path below.
So when at times you miss me,
Just look for me I’m there.
For you cannot hide my spirit,
It is with you everywhere.

Walking in my shoes. Anon.

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in other’s eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realise that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so that they don’t hurt quite so much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

A Grandmother’s Tears. Anon.
Dear Father, creator of all things
You gave us a granddaughter,
A gift from heaven,
But you took her back again so soon,
Before we had a chance to know her.
Dear Lord, my baby is crying for her baby.
You gave us a daughter, a gift from heaven, many years ago
And let us keep her until she became a mother.
Give me so much love that I can comfort her,
So much strength that I can help her to bear this pain,
And so much faith in goodness of life.

A Little Light. Author unknown

A little light to shine for you,
On this special day,
Whilst we dream that we could hold you,
And watch you laugh and play,
These dreams are but a whisper
And they gently float above,
Somewhere, somehow they’ll find you,
And wrap you in our love.

To a Stillborn Sister by Andrea Gabrielli

How do you love a person
Who never got to be,
Or try again to see a face
You never got to see?

How do you mourn the death of one
Who never got to live,
When there’s nothing to feel good about
And nothing to forgive?

I love you, little sister.
You’re a person of the wind,
Free to be the memory
Of all that might have been.

I love you, little sister,
My companion of the night,
Wandering through my lonely hours,
Beautiful and bright.

What does it mean to die before
You ever can be born,
To live the lovely night of life
And never see the dawn?

Ah! My little sister,
You lived like anyone!
Life’s a burst of joy and pain,
And then, like yours, it’s done.

I love you, little sister,
Just as if you’d lived for years.
No more, no less, I think of you,
The angel of my tears.

A Grandparent’s Point of View by Ruth Eaton

The death of a child is a most tragic thing. It affects so many – family, friends and even strangers.

My grandchild died, and only a grandparent can understand the special love we have for our grandchildren and the loss we feel. For us, it is a double loss. Not only is your grandchild gone, but you also watch your child die each day.

The smile that was always on my daughter’s face is no longer there. The hurt is so deep and there are so many questions. You feel helpless as a parent. You can’t kiss the hurt away as you did when they were a child. You have no answers for their questions, for you can barely understand your own feelings.

Each day I hope and pray for a little ray of sunshine to show on my daughter’s face. I search for a little something to say or do that will comfort her. It seems there is no end to the suffering.

As time has slowly gone by, I see the healing process begin. In time, a ray of hope will shine on my daughter’s face and a smile will make her eyes light up again. She will turn to me for what little comfort I can give her. There will always be a part of me that is gone. In time I will learn to live with the part that is still here.

A long time ago, I lost another. Unknown.

Sometimes I may hug you a little too tight,
I may even check on you ten times a night.

Sometimes I may kiss you a little too much,
Cling to you, sing to you, tickle and such.

As you grow up you may notice me kissing your nose
Touching your hair, feeling your toes.

I may cry when you walk;
laugh when you talk.

Scream when you’re late
Coming home from your date.

I may very often pull you so near
Because I don’t want you to see my tears.

I need you to know why I hold you so dear
But I never want you to have my fears.

Because you see, I’m not just your mother
A long time ago, I lost another.

The Journey. Anon.

You see this rucksack on my back?

It’s with me on this walk but I did not choose to carry it.

At the beginning it was heavy…..so heavy that I simply sat down. The weight made me cry. But I had to walk – there was no other choice – there was a journey to go on.

So I staggered on. Once or twice I fell. When I came to fences I had to wait until another walker would come and help me climb over. When the hills were steep I would have to crawl on my hands and knees although sometimes another walker would offer me their hand. There were times when all I could do was sit with my load and watch others go by.

Not all walkers carry a rucksack like mine. Some have nothing and travel light. They are different from me, but then I am different from what I used to be. Some of these walkers, I am sure, may be given rucksacks to carry at some time during their journey.

I wonder how long my journey will be. I wonder what the path will be like. How many fences to cross, how many hills to climb, how many rivers to find stepping stones through. How many more times will I throw myself to the ground hoping to break the straps of my rucksack and release my load. But it is fixed there and I never find the answers to these questions – the next day just brings more walking and my rucksack is still there.

As time goes by my rucksack begins to feel a bit easier to carry. It is still there and weighs the same so what has changed? Have I grown stronger or just used to the load?

The long flat paths are no problems now. At times I can even run for a while. Even the small hills are no problem, although I might need a rest half-way to catch my breath. I find I can enjoy the view. Steep slopes are still a bit of a problem and then I go more slowly for my rucksack seems heavy again.

There are times when I do not even notice that I am carrying it, but I would not want to be without it. It is not the rucksack that has changed – but me.

Life is very different in this walk.

Remembering. Elizabeth Den.

Go ahead and mention my child, the one that died, you know.
Don’t worry about hurting me further, the depth of my pain doesn’t show.
Don’t worry about making me cry, I’m already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing, the tears that I try to hide.
I’m hurt when you just keep silent, pretending she didn’t exist.
I’d rather you mention my child, knowing that she is missed.
You ask me how I am doing, I wish that I could say ‘fine’
But healing is something ongoing, I feel it will take a lifetime.

The Mask I Wear. Anon.

You see this smiling happy face
But look closely at my eyes
You’ll see they are still dead inside
It shouldn’t be a surprise

Yes I smile , I laugh, I joke
Sometimes join in, have some fun
Don’t you realise when I lost my child
A new existence has begun

I wander round the town with you
We sit, eat lunch, drink tea
Please look past this false smile I give
Look for the real me

I may look as if the old me’s back
But don’t you realise it’s an act?
I have to pretend that I’m ok
Me and my conscience made a pact

When I’m all alone at home
I sit and stare into space
I think constantly about my child
Just remembering their face

I’ve never felt so all alone
Even when lost in a crowd
I want to scream and shout and rave
Shout ‘please notice me’ out loud

So please don’t be fooled by the person you see
Look beyond the act I give
Speak to me about my child
Please help me again to live

Remembering Our Angel in Heaven at Christmas Time. Anon.

The sadness never goes away
the silent tears still flow,
you’re thought of and so sadly missed
more than you’ll ever know.

But now you’re with the Angels
safe and sound in Heaven above,
we hold on to the memories
and treasure them with love.

Yet special times like Christmas
often make us wonder why,
God took you from the world
it was too soon to say goodbye.

But memories are precious
they will last a lifetime through,
we know that God had chosen you
to be His Angel too.

Memories Build a Special Bridge. Emily Matthews.

Our memories build a special bridge when loved ones have to part,
To help us feel we’re with them still, and soothe a grieving heart.
Our memories span the years we shared, preserving ties that bind,
They build a special bridge of love and bring us peace of mind.

 

Quotes

“An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby’s birth.
Then whispered as she closed the book “too beautiful for earth”.
~author unknown

“As Long As I Live You Will Live
As Long As I Live You Will Be Remembered
As Long As I Live You Will Be Loved” Anon.

“If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.” Anon.

“How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently;
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
On our hearts.” Anon.

“To Remember Is Painful
To Forget Is Impossible.”
~Maureen Connelly

“There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world” Author unknown.

“Some say you are too painful to remember, I say you are too PRECIOUS to forget!”

Little footprints..
“How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint you footsteps have left upon our hearts” — Dorothy Ferguson

“Our hearts still ache with sadness, And secret tears still flow, Was it meant to lose you, No one can ever know.” Author unknown

“A moment in our arms…a lifetime in our hearts.” Author unknown.

“A family is a circle of love, not broken by a loss, but made stronger by the memories. We remember.” Author unknown.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched, but are felt in the heart.” Helen Keller.

“We do not remember days, we remember moments” Author unknown.

“Sometimes love is for a moment.
Sometimes love is for a lifetime.
Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.” Anon.

“Loved with a love beyond telling,
Missed with a grief beyond all tears.” Anon.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away. ”
Author unknown.

“Some people only dream of angels, I held one in my arms”. Anon.

Next Group Meeting

Wednesday 7th June 2017

7:00-9:30pm

at St Edburg’s C of E Primary School , Pioneer Way, Bicester . OX26 6JP

 

 

News

Please note that our group meetings from June will be held at St Edburg’s C of E Primary School, Pioneer Way, Bicester. OX26 6JP Come and see us at the Bloxham Steam Rally on Sunday 25th June, to help us celebrate our 30th birthday!   Continue Reading

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